A lot of people go from workaholic to zero hours and wonder why retirement is a culture shock and not the holiday they were expecting. The system has sold them a lemon. I don't plan to ever stop working, just morph what and how much I do. 8 hour commute??? Just no! Life's too short for that, Bette!
Great thoughts Bette…I completely agree with your perspective on how routine, fear of change, and identity keep people tied to their jobs, often well past the point of fulfillment. The idea of status quo bias and the emotional weight of letting go of something familiar is something we all experience in one way or another. For many, especially those like your boss, work becomes more than a paycheck—it becomes a cornerstone of who they are. It’s no wonder stepping away feels less like a choice and more like losing a part of themselves.
But I think there’s another layer here that’s worth exploring: the role of purpose. For some, work offers a built-in sense of meaning that’s hard to replicate elsewhere. The relationships, the recognition, even the struggle—it all contributes to feeling relevant and needed. When that’s stripped away, it’s not just identity that’s at stake, but a sense of value. Retirement or leaving a role without a clear “what’s next” can create a vacuum, which is why so many resist change, even if it’s the healthier or more logical choice.
What’s interesting is how much this mindset reflects a larger societal issue—we tie value to productivity. The challenge isn’t just for the individual but for society as a whole to redefine purpose outside of work. How do we encourage people to explore new passions or create meaning beyond their career? It’s a tough shift, but one worth making, because at some point, no amount of loyalty or familiarity can outweigh the toll of staying where you no longer thrive.
Great article! And hugely important insights. it’s something I’ve written about as well and encounter so many times with my clients being scared to leave.
I’m going to feature this piece in a future issue of This Week In Leadership (13k subs).
Beyond the commute causing stress, there are so many reasons many of us should have the option to work from anywhere. I really enjoyed this post! It's nice to see a perspective that supports change and actually slightly validates those of us who haven't been able to stay in jobs for years.
Thanks Nadine! I think it comes down to a different way of thinking about work and what it means to different people. My identity has never been tied to my job but it didn’t mean I didn’t do a good job. There is this misconception that you aren’t good at or dedicated to your job unless you want to stay forever.
A lot of people go from workaholic to zero hours and wonder why retirement is a culture shock and not the holiday they were expecting. The system has sold them a lemon. I don't plan to ever stop working, just morph what and how much I do. 8 hour commute??? Just no! Life's too short for that, Bette!
Oh I know Lisa! I don't get it. I think that just goes to show how afraid she is to move on to the next phase of her life.
Great thoughts Bette…I completely agree with your perspective on how routine, fear of change, and identity keep people tied to their jobs, often well past the point of fulfillment. The idea of status quo bias and the emotional weight of letting go of something familiar is something we all experience in one way or another. For many, especially those like your boss, work becomes more than a paycheck—it becomes a cornerstone of who they are. It’s no wonder stepping away feels less like a choice and more like losing a part of themselves.
But I think there’s another layer here that’s worth exploring: the role of purpose. For some, work offers a built-in sense of meaning that’s hard to replicate elsewhere. The relationships, the recognition, even the struggle—it all contributes to feeling relevant and needed. When that’s stripped away, it’s not just identity that’s at stake, but a sense of value. Retirement or leaving a role without a clear “what’s next” can create a vacuum, which is why so many resist change, even if it’s the healthier or more logical choice.
What’s interesting is how much this mindset reflects a larger societal issue—we tie value to productivity. The challenge isn’t just for the individual but for society as a whole to redefine purpose outside of work. How do we encourage people to explore new passions or create meaning beyond their career? It’s a tough shift, but one worth making, because at some point, no amount of loyalty or familiarity can outweigh the toll of staying where you no longer thrive.
Thank you again for this article!
I completely agree Wasim! When our sole identity is tied to our jobs and we can’t see beyond that, it’s not healthy.
Great article! And hugely important insights. it’s something I’ve written about as well and encounter so many times with my clients being scared to leave.
I’m going to feature this piece in a future issue of This Week In Leadership (13k subs).
Thanks for writing this!
PS the newsletter can be found here: www.thebestleadershipnewsletter.com
Thanks Jeff - appreciate that :) I'll check out the newsletter too!
Beyond the commute causing stress, there are so many reasons many of us should have the option to work from anywhere. I really enjoyed this post! It's nice to see a perspective that supports change and actually slightly validates those of us who haven't been able to stay in jobs for years.
Thanks Nadine! I think it comes down to a different way of thinking about work and what it means to different people. My identity has never been tied to my job but it didn’t mean I didn’t do a good job. There is this misconception that you aren’t good at or dedicated to your job unless you want to stay forever.