40 Years at One Job - The High Cost of Professional Loyalty
The truth about super commuting and career burnout - the hidden toll
Leadership is often about longevity, but what happens when the loyalty and commitment that make a great leader start to take a toll on your well-being?
My old boss just posted about her 40 year milestone working at the same place, and I couldn’t help but think about it. She’s been with the same organization since her college days. She even worked there as a student. Now, she drives an hour and a half each way. In the winter, that drive can stretch to four or even eight hours one way.
Yes you read that correctly. She posted on social media that there were a few times it took her eight hours to get home. That’s insane.
Her reason for staying isn’t about the work itself. It’s the relationships she’s built over the years. And yet, how much longer can she keep this up? How much longer would anyone want to keep this up. At some point, it’s about more than just loyalty.
It becomes a question of why we’re holding on to something, even when it starts to wear us down and completely wear us out.
The comfort of routine and the fear of change
People like what’s familiar. It’s natural. We all have a tendency to stick with what we know, even if better options are available. This is called status quo bias. It’s why my old boss resisted moving to digital files for years. The whole organization had already switched over. She refused because paper was her thing. She stuck with it. Not because it made sense. But because it was what she knew.
The pandemic finally forced her to adapt. But even that was a struggle. Change didn’t come easily. It wasn’t about the files. It was about letting go of a system she had mastered — one where everyone came to her when they had questions. She was considered the most knowledgeable person on campus, and she was, until improved ways of doing things came along.
She no longer had control. People didn’t need to go to her. They could search the internet or find the information online. Her and her authority were becoming obsolete. This is the problem with change — it’s uncomfortable. Even when it’s the better option, it’s hard for many to adapt.
Mostly out of fear.
Research backs this up. Prospect theory by Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky shows that people are wired to fear losses more than they value gains. My boss wasn’t just avoiding the move to digital because she was comfortable with paper. It was because she feared what she might lose in the process.
Work becomes part of who we are
After 40 years, work isn’t just about the paycheck. It becomes part of your identity. Sociologist Sheldon Stryker talks about this. When you’re so entrenched in a role, it’s hard to see yourself as anything else. For my boss, that job isn’t just a job. It’s who she is. Walking away from it? That feels like losing a part of herself. Most likely, all of herself.
Retirement isn’t just about leaving work. It’s about facing a loss of identity. The job provides structure, relationships, and purpose. What happens when that’s gone? That question can paralyze people. For my boss, stepping into retirement is an unknown. She has no idea what life looks like without that routine.
When people are afraid of the future, they find comfort in the past which is why my old boss continually reminisces about events from decades ago.
This isn’t just theory. Research found that people who strongly identify with their work have a harder time adjusting to retirement. The job isn’t just something they do. It’s something they are.
The cost of staying too long
The problem with staying in one place too long is that it starts to cost you. The daily commute alone is a major toll. My old boss spends hours on the road every day. And during the winter, those hours stretch even longer. Studies show that long commutes lead to higher stress levels, lower life satisfaction, and poorer health.
That doesn’t even take into account the physical toll of winter driving. The constant stress of battling the weather, sitting in traffic, and burning out over time. A 2014 study from the University of Waterloo showed that long commutes increase cortisol levels (the stress hormone), reduce physical activity, and mess with sleep patterns. All of these factors contribute to burnout.
For many, it’s not just about getting from point A to point B. It’s about the toll it takes on your mind and body over time. I know for myself, I felt a tremendous amount of anxiety driving during the winter months. And when you work for someone who commutes an hour and a half or more one way she’s not very sympathetic when you ask for consideration given you only live 30 minutes from the office.
One year, we received a foot of snow overnight. I had to snow blow my driveway myself. I emailed her and expressed that I wasn’t comfortable driving in, and that my roads weren’t even plowed. I asked if I could work from home and outlined what I would do, mentioning that I had a couple of online appointments.
She responded, stating that the policy requires employees to take annual leave if they cannot come in. Then she argued that I didn’t have any appointments, so I had to spend half an hour going back and forth with her via email. In the end, I was forced to take annual leave, even though she could have allowed me to work from home. But that had been how it had always been done pre-pandemic.
Common sense dictates that it’s one thing if she wants to risk her safety, but it’s quite another when bosses ask their employees to risk theirs.
Resistance to change is common, but it doesn’t have to be permanent
It’s easy to look at my any reluctance to change as stubbornness. But it’s really a natural human instinct. Everett Rogers, in his Diffusion of Innovations theory, talks about how different people adopt change at different rates. Some jump on board right away. Others, like my boss, take longer, sometimes they are forced to get on the train.
Some people resist change because it feels risky or out of their control. But in the end, it’s inevitable.
When she finally moved to digital files, the world didn’t fall apart. It wasn’t as bad as she thought. That’s often the case with change — it’s hard at first, but then you realize it wasn’t as big a deal as you made it out to be.
Change isn’t the enemy. The fear of it is. It can feel overwhelming, but once you start, you often find your feet. And if my boss can make the switch after all these years, anyone can.
Making the hard decisions
We all do it but sometimes we hold on to things way past the expiration date. It might be a job, a routine, or a limiting belief. It’s easy to get stuck in what’s comfortable. But what’s comfortable isn’t always what’s best for us or even what makes us happy.
If you’re facing a similar situation, are you staying because you love what you do? Or are you staying because it’s too hard to imagine something else? If it’s the latter, it might be time to rethink your choices.
Here’s a practical idea: Start small. If retirement feels too big, try cutting back on hours. Start easing into a new routine. Or take time to build something meaningful outside of work. This doesn’t mean giving up everything. It just means finding a way to keep the best parts of your life without burning yourself out.
Letting go doesn’t erase your value
My old boss’s 40 years of dedication are impressive. She’s made a mark. But at some point, staying in one place stops adding to that legacy. The relationships she’s built won’t disappear if she retires. They don’t need to. Letting go of the job doesn’t mean letting go of the people or the lessons learned.
Here’s the real takeaway. Don’t stay too long just for the sake of it. Find a way to make space for what’s next. It’s not always easy, but it’s the only way to keep growing — and to protect yourself from burnout.
Taking charge of your future
Retirement and career changes can feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to wait until the last minute to start planning. In fact, the earlier you think about it, the smoother the transition will be.
Here’s how you can get started:
Get a financial picture: Understand where you stand with your money. Use retirement calculators or consult with a financial advisor. The clearer your numbers, the better prepared you’ll be.
Define your goals: What do you want to do when you leave your job? Travel? Hobbies? A side business? Be specific because the more concrete they are, the easier it’ll be to take steps toward them.
Assess your readiness: Are you ready to leave work behind or cut back on hours? If not, consider making gradual changes before taking the plunge.
Retirement doesn’t have to mean giving up work entirely. It’s an opportunity to redefine what it looks like. Think about the teacher who starts tutoring or writing online. Or the lawyer who shifts to career coaching and the doctor who volunteers at a local free clinic.
Whether you ease into it or go at it full force, make sure you’re taking steps toward what you want — not just what you’ve always known.
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© 2024 Bette A. Ludwig: All rights reserved
A lot of people go from workaholic to zero hours and wonder why retirement is a culture shock and not the holiday they were expecting. The system has sold them a lemon. I don't plan to ever stop working, just morph what and how much I do. 8 hour commute??? Just no! Life's too short for that, Bette!
Great thoughts Bette…I completely agree with your perspective on how routine, fear of change, and identity keep people tied to their jobs, often well past the point of fulfillment. The idea of status quo bias and the emotional weight of letting go of something familiar is something we all experience in one way or another. For many, especially those like your boss, work becomes more than a paycheck—it becomes a cornerstone of who they are. It’s no wonder stepping away feels less like a choice and more like losing a part of themselves.
But I think there’s another layer here that’s worth exploring: the role of purpose. For some, work offers a built-in sense of meaning that’s hard to replicate elsewhere. The relationships, the recognition, even the struggle—it all contributes to feeling relevant and needed. When that’s stripped away, it’s not just identity that’s at stake, but a sense of value. Retirement or leaving a role without a clear “what’s next” can create a vacuum, which is why so many resist change, even if it’s the healthier or more logical choice.
What’s interesting is how much this mindset reflects a larger societal issue—we tie value to productivity. The challenge isn’t just for the individual but for society as a whole to redefine purpose outside of work. How do we encourage people to explore new passions or create meaning beyond their career? It’s a tough shift, but one worth making, because at some point, no amount of loyalty or familiarity can outweigh the toll of staying where you no longer thrive.
Thank you again for this article!